Rock, Paper, Saddam! is a creation by Jay Barnes and has been reprinted here for your enjoyment.
Saddam: I’m bored!
Saddam: I’ve got an idea! Let’s play a game of Rock Paper Scissors!
This Guy: Can I Play?
Saddam: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saddam: Will I choose Rock
Saddam: Paper
Saddam: Or Scissors
Saddam: YOU DON’T KNOW!
Watban Ibrahim al-Hasan al-Tikriti: Dude, say it, don’t spray it
Saddam: WHATEVER. Let’s play
Saddam: ROCK!
Judge: TWO PAPERS!
Saddam: DUDE, DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF is two papers?
Judge: Two papers are better. Two papers cover the rock TWICE. That fucking rock ain’t going NOWHERE
Saddam: I’ve got your two papers RIGHT HERE. NOW PLAY SERIOUS, ASS
Judge: ONE PAPER!
Saddam: TIGER HAND! RAWR!!!!! RAWRR! rar. Hahaaa, hi. Tiger Hand. Come on! You Know! … You don’t know Tiger Hand? Tiger Hand beats paper. Like totally beats paper. Always
Saddam: Ask Aziz, he knows
Aziz: Tiger Hand always beats paper
Saddam: I’m sayin’ bro!
Judge: Okay, fine. “Tiger Hand” beats paper. Whatever you say Saddam. No more Tiger Hand
Saddam: HEY, CRY ME A RIVER, DUDE. IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU DON’T KNOW TIGER HAND
Judge: Well, You should have picked honesty, then you may not have blown it
Saddam: You probably don’t even know Pen Missile
Judge: Missile? What Missile?
Saddam: NYERMMMM. PEN MISSILE!!!!
Judge: Okay fine, I’m not playing anymore. There is no TIGER HAND and there is no PEN MISSILE. You’re just MAKING SHIT UP
Saddam: AM NOT
Judge: Are too
Saddam: That’s it, you’re going on my list
-FIN-