Rock, Paper, Saddam!

Rock, Paper, Saddam!

Rock, Paper, Saddam! is a creation by Jay Barnes and has been reprinted here for your enjoyment.



Saddam: I’m bored!


Saddam: I’ve got an idea! Let’s play a game of Rock Paper Scissors!


This Guy: Can I Play?


Saddam: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Saddam: Will I choose Rock


Saddam: Paper


Saddam: Or Scissors


Saddam: YOU DON’T KNOW!


Watban Ibrahim al-Hasan al-Tikriti: Dude, say it, don’t spray it


Saddam: WHATEVER. Let’s play


Saddam: ROCK!
Judge: TWO PAPERS!


Saddam: DUDE, DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF is two papers?


Judge: Two papers are better. Two papers cover the rock TWICE. That fucking rock ain’t going NOWHERE


Saddam: I’ve got your two papers RIGHT HERE. NOW PLAY SERIOUS, ASS


Judge: ONE PAPER!
Saddam: TIGER HAND! RAWR!!!!! RAWRR! rar. Hahaaa, hi. Tiger Hand. Come on! You Know! … You don’t know Tiger Hand? Tiger Hand beats paper. Like totally beats paper. Always


Saddam: Ask Aziz, he knows


Aziz: Tiger Hand always beats paper


Saddam: I’m sayin’ bro!


Judge: Okay, fine. “Tiger Hand” beats paper. Whatever you say Saddam. No more Tiger Hand


Saddam: HEY, CRY ME A RIVER, DUDE. IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU DON’T KNOW TIGER HAND


Judge: Well, You should have picked honesty, then you may not have blown it


Saddam: You probably don’t even know Pen Missile


Judge: Missile? What Missile?


Saddam: NYERMMMM. PEN MISSILE!!!!


Judge: Okay fine, I’m not playing anymore. There is no TIGER HAND and there is no PEN MISSILE. You’re just MAKING SHIT UP


Saddam: AM NOT


Judge: Are too


Saddam: That’s it, you’re going on my list

-FIN-